Get Your Healthy On, Kind Of

In my effort to be all whole-foody and health-nutty and whatnot, the Jersey Girl has set out on a mission to find some yum-yums for lunch that do not involve processed meats or tuna from a can.

I tried with the quinoa. Honest to goodness. But yeah, that mess was a miss for me.  I suppose I'm just not hip enough.

The texture, the after-taste, the fact that I was hungry two hours later. Quinoa. I'm so not into you.

But barley has been in my life for an eternity. Usually in soup formation. My Moms makes the best beef barley soup. But, let me present to you my fabulous barley salad. It rocks my world.

I encourage you to mix up your greens and veggies with whatever your heart desires. This just happens to be the veggie mix that I came up with on the day I shot the pic. Peppers and celery also work well. As does baby spinach instead of arugula. The basil in the dressing is one of my fave touches.

I suppose if I were really all psycho about health, I would provide you with a nutritional comparison of quinoa and barley, as well as precise measurements of all ingredients listed below. But, well, I'm not all that psycho about health. I mean, yes I exercise on occasion and I can knockout some crunches and fitness programs in my newly finished basement (yay!), but truth be told, I am in no manner a health guru. I just know what I like to eat. And sometimes, I may want 2 cups of arugula in my salad and some days I may want 1 cup. That's just how I do.

And, I did look up the nutritional content of both barley and quinoa, but I fell asleep with my eyes open. I tried again, and got caught up on something on Pinterest. I tried yet again, and I realized my wine glass was empty. The bottom line is, they're both pretty good for you and their stats are quite similar. The end.

Barley Salad
1 serving

Dressing
1 Tbsp. red wine vinegar
2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
salt and pepper to taste
4 basil leaves, chopped
In a small bowl, whisk together all of the ingredients. Set aside.

The salad
1/2 cup barley, cooked (For instructions, see below)
1 cup of arugula
Grape tomatoes, halved
Cucumbers, chopped
Radishes, chopped
Carrot, chopped
Feta cheese, crumbled

First things first: How to cook barley.

1/2 cup barley
2 cups water
Salt if desired (I do not add salt)

In a small colander, rinse off the barley.

Place water and barley in a small pot Add salt if desired. Bring to a boil. Simmer for 40 to 45 minutes. Barley should be tender.

Drain in a colander and run under cold water.

1/2 cup uncooked barley yields 2 cups cooked barley. You can store the remaining barley in a container in the refrigator for use later.

To prepare the salad:
On a plate, place arugula and the rest of your desired vegetables. Top with a scoop of barley (1/2 cup to 3/4 cup cooked). Add dressing and toss. Top with cheese, and enjoy!

I'm So Fancy

There's somethin' somethin' about a gratin that seems so posh.

So, I just MUST whip up some Bay Scallop Gratins courtesy of the Barefoot Contessa the next time I have a get together. I'm sure they will be a super big hit with my usual crowd of 3-year-olds.

In this go-around, I made them for little ole' moi and The Husband along with the kiddo. My adventurous 3-year-old actually did eat two whole bites of scallop. But he was enticed by the promise of  a Hershey's Kiss for his new-food-trying efforts.

I followed this recipe almost to the T. I did not have Pernod, and then I looked up what it is: a licorice-flavored liquor. Ummm. That flavor mixed with scallop flavor in my mind brought on a huge wave of the gags. So, I just substituted the Pernod for another tablespoon of white wine, which is already called for in the recipe. Sorry, Barefoot Contessa. Since we're keeping it real, dear readers, I whipped up these scallops last week while in the midst of a major asthma episode. And my deluxe cocktail of inhalers, steroids and meds kind of killed my appetite. And brought on some major nausea and shakes and delirium. Good times! But that is why I opted for the more basic-tasting wine, if you know what I mean.

When I make these again just for The Husband and me, I will just whip them up in one large gratin rather than the cute individual gratins because Clumsiness is my middle name, and removing small hot gratins from a hot baking sheet to plates on the table is waaaaaaaaaaaay easier said then done. When I do get it together for an adult din din partay, I will rock out the smaller ones, for sure.

I served these for a light dinner. The Husband hadn't been feeling so hot either, so he wasn't a huge eater on this lovely day. He always says scallops leave him wanting more food. So, I recommend this dish as an appie. The Barefoot Contessa says to rock out some fab bread on the side. I served rice and a salad.

Bay Scallop Gratins
Makes 3 gratins
From "Barefoot Contessa: Back to Basics"
By Ina Garten

3 Tbsp. unsalted butter, at room temperature
3 large garlic cloves, minced
1 medium shallot, minced
1 ounce thinly sliced prosciutto di Parma, minced
2 Tbsp. minced fresh parsley, plus extra for garnish
1 Tbsp. freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 Tbsp. Pernod
1 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
3 Tbsp. good olive oil
1/4 cup panko (Japanese dried bread flakes)
3 Tbsp. dry white wine
1 pound fresh bay scallops
Lemon, for garnish

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit. Place 3 (6-inch round) gratin dishes on a sheet pan.

To make the topping, place the butter in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment (you can also use a hand mixer). With the mixer on low speed, add the garlic, shallot, prosciutto, parsley, lemon juice, Pernod, salt and pepper and mix until combined. With the mixer on low, add the olive oil slowly as though making mayonnaise, until combined. Fold the panko in with a rubber spatula and set aside.

Preheat the broiler, if it's separate from your oven.

Place 1 Tbsp. of the wine in the bottom of each gratin dish. With a small sharp knife, remove the white muscle and membrane from the side of each scallop and discard. Pat the scallops dry with paper towels and distribute them among the 3 dishes. Spoon the garlic butter evenly over the top of the scallops. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, until the topping is golden and sizzling and the scallops are barely done.  If you want the top crustier, place the dishes under the broiler for 2 minutes, until browned. Finish with a squeeze of fresh lemon juice and a sprinkling of chopped parsley and serve immediately with crusty French bread.

Please note: The Jersey Girl used 1 Tbsp. white wine instead of Pernod.

It's All Greek to Me

So if you're a Greek food purist/snob you may want to click elsewhere. For all others: Welcome to my riveting post re: Gyros Gone Jersey Girl Wild.

Straight away, I will warn you: My tzatziki sauce is missing cucumbers. This is no fault of my own but rather a deliberate decision in making sure that The Husband eats the tzatziki sauce. You may remember from previous posts (since I know all 10 of you have been following my blogging career for YEARS), The Husband has a thing "with," or I should say "against" cucumbers. And mayo. And shopping. And mushrooms. Don't even get me started with the mushrooms.

So I lovingly placed the cucumbers on the side so that me and the kiddo would would get some of that fresh crunchiness action up on our gyro creations while making The Husband happy.

See that. I'm all about the compromise.

In addition, I'm 99 percent sure that in real life I mispronounce all of, well the two Greek words that we are using today: gyro and tzatziki (which, if we're being honest here, tzatziki is also a bitch to spell. And it just made me break my swear word policy on my blog. Sorry, Jesus.)

Aaaaand finally, my son, bless his 3-year-old hungry hungry belly, lovingly referred to our perfectly warm pitas filled with delicious lemony marinated shaved pork, cool tzatziki sauce, salty feta and fresh veggies, veggies and more veggies as "tacos." Ie, "Mommy, can I please have more tacos?" and "These tacos taste yummy" and "I love tacos."

Naturally, I went with his whole narrative.

"Sure, Baby Doll. Tacos IT IS!"

This was really easy breezy to make. And it does get a ton of veggies down the gullets of your family. And, honestly. Who doesn't love a taco, I mean gyro?

Below is the recipe for my sauce. And then, I'm listing the recipe for the Old Neighborhood Shaved Pork Gyro recipe that I found on Pinterest.  It is on the Old Neighborhood Web site as well. In an uncanny stroke of luck, my ghetto Shop Rite actually carries the Old Neighborood Shaved Meat products. Yay!

Feel free to serve these bad boys with all sorts of veggies and toppings. We did red peppers, cucumbers, plum tomatoes, romaine and feta. You could totally do hummus, olives, peppers of varying colors, scallions, fresh herbs, etc. Woo-hoo!

I didn't serve these in a traditional gyro roll-up style. I kinda just cut the pitas in half and stuffed them. Top Chef plating, it is not.

Gyro toppings: Tzatziki sauce, cucumbers, red bell peppers, red onions.

And more toppings: plum tomatoes, feta cheese, romaine.

Beneath that rainbow of veggie amazingness is some tasty shaved pork. Honest.

Here's my little man loving a ride on the Boardwalk in Ocean City. 
That smile is gold!

Tzatziki Sorta Sauce
10 ounces Greek yogurt
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
1 garlic clove, minced
Parsley, chopped
2 scallion greens, minced
1 Tbsp. white wine vinegar
Salt and pepper to taste

Combine all the ingredients in a bowl, and gently stir together with a spoon until well blended. Refrigerate if made well ahead.

Shaved Pork Gyros from Old Neighborhood Shaved Pork
By Susan Chan

1 1-lb. package of Old Neighborhood Shaved Pork
1 tbsp. oregano
1 tbsp. cumin
3 tbsp. lemon juice
1 garlic clove, minced
salt and pepper to taste
tzatziki sauce (see ingredients & recipe below)
pita bread
olive oil
1 red onion, sliced
1 tomato, cut into strips
Lettuce leaves
Crumbled feta

Marinate the Shaved Pork with 1 tbsp. oregano, 1 tbsp. cumin, 3 tbsp. lemon juice, minced garlic clove, salt, and pepper for at least 30 minutes. I left the amount of salt and pepper to your discretion, but if you need a point of reference, I used 1 tsp. salt with 2 tsp. black pepper.

If you are making the tzatziki sauce yourself, mix all of the tzatziki ingredients together, and set it aside in the fridge.

Heat a pan over medium heat. Add 2 tsp. of olive oil. Add the shaved pork.

Cook the pork for about 4-5 minutes, or until the meat is thoroughly cooked.

In a separate pan, heat ½ tsp. of olive oil. Lightly toast one pita bread.

Remove the pita from the pan, and place it on a dish.

Remove the tzatziki sauce from the fridge.

Place one lettuce leaf in the center of the pita.

Add tomato strips, onion slices, and cooked shaved pork.  The amount added is dependent on how full you would like each gyro.

Top with feta cheese and some tzatziki sauce. For the tzatziki sauce that appeared with this recipe on the Old Neighborhood Foods Web site, click here.)

Fold the sides of the pita towards the center.

(optional) Wrap with foil or parchment paper to hold the gyro in place.

Repeat steps for each gyro.

Serve and enjoy!

Get it Poppin'

Jalapeno Poppers are my jam.

Usually, in take-out fashion, they are breaded and deep fried. And in my humble foodtastic opinion, that just masks the fiery tastiness of the actual pepper with greasy ick nast fattiness. Hello, I want deliciousness from my poppers!

My version requires you to remember to leave out half a hunk of cream cheese to get room temperature softness. You also must chop up half an onion and bit of parsley. I'm not going to lie: Slicing the jalapenos and seeding them may cause you a serious case of the gags. Honestly, I was convulsing while preparing these gems. But pain is beauty.

This recipe is in honor of my Dad, who digs all things hot hot hot. Truth be told, all the men in my fam love the poppers. Upon making them, I did declare that the entire platter would be devoured. Correctomondo.

These are great to bring to a BBQ party or football throwdowns, which are just around the corner.

Baked Jalapeno Poppers
Makes 20 

10 jalapenos, cut in half and seeded
1/2 small red onion or two fat scallions, finely chopped (about 1/4 cup)
4-6 ounces cream cheese, room temperature. If your poppers are on the big side, I would go with the 6 ounces.
1 heaping cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 Tbsp. finely chopped parsley
Salt and pepper to taste

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.

In the bowl of a mixer, combine onion, cream cheese, cheddar cheese, parsley and salt and pepper to taste. On medium-low speed, blend together with your paddle attachment on the mixer.

Using tea spoons and some patience, fill the jalapeno halves. Line on a baking sheet. Bake for about 15 minutes. The peppers should be tender and the cheese filling should be all melty and delish.

Voila.

Zucchini Fritters Nigella Style

There's nothing better than cooking up a dish of amazing deliciousness, and both fellas in your house give you the brush off with, "No thanks."

And by "nothing better," I really mean, "Can I cut one of you with this butter knife and throw my whisks across the cucina Mommy Dearest style?"

If only I had whipped up these fab Zucchini Fritters for my 549 Facebook friends. Hello, 20 likes. If that's not love, I don't know what is. You know, since Facebook is real and all. I so have 549 friends in my true day-to-day existence who aren't named Elmo, Thomas or Curious George. Don't you?

I totally just coulda shoulda invited my Moms over. She so had my back on these morsels of shredded zucchini cakeypoofs in leftover style. And if any of you know the lady who gave me life, she is not one to dole out the accolades. Particularly to her overachiever, overextended, overanalytical middle daughter who is well aware that the kitchen cabinets need to be organized, I buy too many shoes and cookbooks, take too long to make home-renovation decisions, and am overall a massive disaster. What would I do without you, Mommy Obvious?

(I would lose my mind, honest to goodness. And the parents are getting out of dodge and moving to Florida forevs in August. I gots the major SADS!!)

But in addition to cleaning up the kitchen and offering her opinions on what should go where in my soon-to-be-newly-finished basement (yay!) my momma RAVED about my zucchini fritters the morning following her baby-sitting gig at mi messy casa.

"What were those things in the purple container in your refrigerator?"

"They were amazing."

"What was in them?"

Well, Mom, since you asked: These Zucchini Fritters courtesy of Nigella Lawson include two shredded zuccs, lots of scallions, a whole bunch of basil and parsley, a couple of eggs, some flour, feta, a splash of lime and a lotta love.

Just not from my Jersey Girl boy toys. Guess I needed to serve the zucchini fritters with a slab of beef or a pound of bacon or a vat of beer. I don't know. I thought my Evan baby doll would have housed them since he loves zucchini when I rock it out in other manners.  These are SO much zingy-ier, tastier, summerier than the Barefoot Contessa zucchini fritters that I whipped up two summers ago. Wow, how time flies.  The Nigella fritters are just heavenly: Crispy on the outside with the tang of the lime, punch of the feta. And the fresh herbs. Eek. Love it!

 My son did give me a good ole fakeout in that he straight up asked for a zucchini fritter and then ate a piece of bread.

Thanks, kid. And then he wanted a lollipop. The nerve!

Those of you who are actually good at gardening and produce gorgeous zucchinis by the bushel are gonna want to rock this one out. Trust.

Be sure to not invite my husband and son over for dinner.

(Disclaimer: I warned The Husband straight off the bat that when he declined my food he would hear about it for a good week and it would be a blog topic. He understands. I think. Well, maybe not.)

I also need to inform you that I swapped out the fresh and dried mint in the recipe for basil because the mint at my majorly low-grade ShopRite was looking an oh-so-appealing shade of brown. It kinda screamed out to me, "I've been festering on this shelf under fluorescent lights for two weeks now. DON'T buy me." So, I went with the basil. What? Produce in dodgy grocery stores doesn't talk to you?

Despite my herbalicious change, these fritters were divine, and I am sure the mint is fab, too. I liked the basil, lime, feta combo so much though, I may just stick with that. I mean really, what does Nigella know? Just kidding, Domestic Goddess. You know I'm gonna hunt you down in fangirl style when The Husband suddenly whisks me off to London one day like a General Hospital leading man.

Zucchini Fritters
From "Forever Summer"
By Nigella Lawson

4 zucchini (approximately 1 1/2 pounds)
5-6 scallions, finely chopped
9 ounces feta cheese
Small bunch fresh parsley, chopped
Small bunch fresh mint, chopped, plus extra to sprinkle over at the end
1 Tbsp. dried mint
1 tsp. paprika
Scant 1 cup all-purpose flour
Salt and pepper
3 eggs, beaten
olive oil for frying
3-4 limes

Coarsely grate the zucchini with either the grating blade in the food processor or by hand. Spread the little shards out on a tea towel and leave for about 20 minutes to get rid of any excess wetness.

Put the chopped scallions in a bowl and crumble in the feta. Stir in the chopped parsley and mint, along with the dried mint and paprika. Add the flour and season well with salt and pepper. Gradually add the beaten egg and mix thoroughly before stirring in the drained, grated zucchini. Don't be alarmed by the unflowing straggly lumpiness of this batter; it's meant to be this way.

Heat a few tablespoons of oil in a large frying pan and drop heaped desertspoons of the mixture into the hot oil, flattening the little cakes down with the back of the spoon as you go. Cook these little patties for about 2 minutes each side until golden, and then transfer to a couple of waiting plates.

Chop up the limes and tumble them about the edges of the plates. Sprinkle over a little more chopped mint and eat them just as they are, spritzed with lime juice as you go.

Makes about 25.

Please note: The Jersey girl used fresh basil and dried basil in place of fresh mint and dried mint.

Corn Chowder

It's a good day when a new cookbook arrives at my door, and every recipe is jumping off the page shouting, "Cook me. I rock."

OK. So maybe my imagination IS getting the best of me. And yes, a person really does exist in 2014 who knowingly and willing reads books like with paper. Even cookbooks. I also just updated my I.O.S. last week solely because the Jersey Girl headed to Bermuda with my home girls crew and wanted to make sure I could facetime my 3-year-old boyfriend. Electronics. I just don't care.

Sidenote: Bermuda was fab. Highly recommend.

Anywho, Bobby Deen of Cooking Channel fame and the offspring of the notorious Paula Deen put out a cookbook that's all about the yum yums of the south but with waaaaaaaaaaay less calories and fat and all that. I seriously want to cook up every single jammy jam in "From Mama's Table to Mine." The cover claims all the recipes make servings that clock in at 350 calories or less.

Now, I'm not one to keep track of numbers when eating my eats, but I do know based on my very small first-hand experience that when I kicked it down south for a week's vacay last year I felt like a super big fat ass upon return to Jersey. But dang, the cuisine of the dirty south is tasty. So, thank you, Bobby Deen for your hunka hunka of burnin southern lovin' cookbook. I'm so glad I got it. And I do dig your mama, too. Political correctness be DAMNED.

So you're probably all like, well come on, Jersey Girl. What did you cook up? Totally must be a Southern classic such as shrimp and grits or collared greens or fried chicken. No, no and no. Try again: Corn chowder, kids. A really fab corn chowder.

What the what?

Well, the corn was calling to me from the produce aisle. And with July right around the corner the Jersey corn will be at its peak in no time. So, you'll want this one in your arsenal especially for those cool summer nights down the shore.

You can totally use frozen corn in a pinch. And the other veggie ingredients are staples in my kitchen and cupboard: Carrots, celery, garlic, onion and potato. Pretty standard fare, no?

There is no cream in this recipe, but there is a bit of milk. I topped mine with some cheddar cheese because that's just how I do.

My little man tasted the soup. In fact, he ate about three or four spoonfuls. It's a start. I think he'll be asking for seconds by the time September rolls around. Just a hunch.

According to the cookbook, the Deen fam came up with this recipe to get a toddler type to eat his veggies. Fortunately, my toddler monster likes to get his veg on. But for all you mommas out there feeling so over the pizza, hotdog and chicken finger rotation, bust out your soup pot!

Jack's Corn Chowder
From "From Mama's Table to Mine"
By Bobby Deen
Makes 6 cups/Serves 6

1 Tbsp. low-calorie butter substitute spread
1/2 cup finely chopped onions
1/2 cup finely chopped carrots
1/4 cup finely chopped celery
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
3 cups fresh or frozen corn kernels
2 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 small potato, peeled and cut into chunks
1 1/2 cups whole milk
Pinch of nutmeg, preferably freshly grated
White pepper to taste

In a medium pot, melt the butter substitute over medium heat. Add the onions, carrots and celery and cook, stirring frequently, until the onions are softened, 3 to 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for 30 seconds. Add the corn and chicken broth and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Lower the heat and simmer for 10 minutes.

Remove 1 cup of the soup and puree in a blender or food processor; return the pureed soup to the pot.

Meanwhile, in a small saucepan, cover the potatoes with cold salted water. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat and cook until the potatoes are easily pierced with a fork, about 20 minutes. Drain and place in a blender or food processor. Add the milk and puree until smooth.

Add the potato mixture to the soup and season with nutmeg and pepper.

Please note: The Jersey Girl used unsalted butter instead of butter substitute and she used black pepper instead of white pepper.

Weeknight Keeper

Salmon is the REAL chicken of the sea.

At least in my very humble opinion.

It's always a go-to, and you're always looking for a new way to jazz it up. Doesn't that sum up all of our views on chicken?

No? 

Just, moi.

Come on, dear readers. Work with me.

This recipe is super fab: Panko-Crusted Salmon courtesy of the Barefoot Contessa. I always have the basic ingredients on hand and they are: panko (natch), fresh parsley, lemon and Dijon mustard. I rocked this out in my Le Creuset braiser. You need to cook it in a pan that works on your stove top and the oven.

The panko, which is Japanese bread crumbs in case you haven't heard, adds some crunch and texture. The lemon and parsley add freshness. Great elements for a fish dish, right?

This one is easy peasy.

Panko-Crusted Salmon
From "Barefoot Contessa: How Easy is That?"
By Ina Garten
Serves 4

2/3 cup panko (Japanese dried bread flakes)
2 Tbsp. minced fresh parsley
1 tsp. grated lemon zest
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 Tbsp. good olive oil
4 (6- to 8-ounce) salmon fillets, skin on
2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard
2 Tbsp. vegetable oil
Lemon wedges, for serving

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.

In a small bowl, mix together the panko, parsley, lemon zest, 1/2 tsp. salt and 1/2 tsp. pepper. Drizzle with the olive oil and stir until the crumbs are evenly coated. Set aside.

Place the salmon fillets, skin side down, on a board. Generously brush the top of the fillets with mustard and then sprinkle generously with salt and pepper. Press the panko mixture thickly on top of the mustard on each salmon fillet. The mustard will help the panko adhere.

Heat the vegetable oil over medium-high heat in a 12-inch cast iron skillet or large, heavy, ovenproof pan. When the oil is very hot, add the salmon fillets skin side down, and sear for 3 to 4 minutes, without turning, to brown the skin.

Transfer the pan to the hot oven for 5 to 7 minutes until the salmon is almost cooked and the panko is browned. Remove from the oven, cover with aluminum foil, and allow to rest for 5 to 10 minutes. Serve the salmon hot or at room temperature with lemon wedges.