One Woman Show

The Husband travels for work, which does have some perks for moi: Trash TV-watching in solitude without judgement; a maj stash of wine that he lovingly sets up for me; sleeping in my big-ass fluffy king-size bed in complete silence (The Husband is a notorious snorer. And I am a notorious insomniac); and of course the opportunity to cook up some eats that The Husband doesn't really groove on.

For example, a soba noodle extravaganza starring spinach and mushrooms.

Ooooh. I love this bowl of deliciousness. It's officially called Soba Soup with Spinach and it comes from marthastewart.com. 

The Husband would no doubt taste my big ole pot of Asian-flavored vegtastic yum-yums, but he would probably dig it more with a fish or meat of sorts. Me, when I'm single girling it, I could eat pasta and a salad all day, every day.

I got this one off Pinterest. I used just a basic box of Barilla whole wheat linguine since my Sur La Table in Marlton stopped carrying my most fave soba noodles eva and because my lowgrade Shop Rite doesn't even carry soba noodles. The whole wheat pasta works just as well.

This is also a fab dish to make when you are short on time and sanity. It all comes together in less than 30 minutes. For reals. And the lime juice, spinach and mushrooms. Just divine!

Have at it!

Soba Soup with Spinach
From marthastewart.com

2 tablespoons vegetable oil
12 ounces shiitake mushrooms (stems removed), caps thinly sliced
4 scallions, white and green parts separated and thinly sliced
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tablespoon peeled and minced fresh ginger
Coarse salt
2 cans (14.5 ounces each) reduced-sodium chicken broth
1/2 package (4.4 ounces) soba (Japanese buckwheat noodles)
1 bunch flat-leaf spinach, torn
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 tablespoon soy sauce

In a large saucepan, heat oil over medium. Add mushrooms, scallion whites, garlic, and ginger; season with salt. Cook, stirring occasionally, until mushrooms are tender, 6 minutes.

Add broth and 3 cups water; bring to a boil. Add soba; reduce to a simmer, and cook 5 minutes. Add spinach; cook just until tender, about 1 minute. Add lime juice and soy sauce. Serve topped with scallion greens.

Hot and Sour Soup

One of the side effects of being a food snob is that takeout eats make a rare appearance on my kitchen table. This is also the result of being a control freak, a lova of cooking and a gal who rocks some killer food allergies.

But, a hankering for Chinese food hits the best and worst of us at any given time. And so, a pot of Hot and Sour Soup just NEEDED to be concocted. To hell with deChristmasing, decluttering and decompressing!!

I absolutely LOVE this soup. It tasted so much lighter and refreshing than what I get in a restaurant. And that is exactly what I was looking for after weeks of holiday eats and parties and drinking. (Well, I'm still drinking. Let's just keep it real.)

One of the highlights of the soup is that my little man Evan James, HOUSED it. Two bowls! And he declared a love for tofu and mushrooms that warmed my foodie heart.

This was fairly easy to make. I suppose the hardest part was dealing with the fresh ginger, which you need to peel, then grate and then press through a sieve to get the ginger juice all up in your pot of warm delicious goodness. I grated my ginger with my Microplane, but a box grater will work just fine.

And just to warn you, be sure to discard the stems from the shiitake mushrooms you use. The stems are very tough. You just want to use the caps in this.

I used low sodium chicken broth and low sodium soy sauce.

Hot and Sour Soup
From Martha Stewart Living, April 2004

• 2 cans (14.5 ounces each) reduced-sodium chicken broth

• 2 tablespoons soy sauce

• 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper

• 8 ounces fresh shiitake mushrooms (about 4 cups), stemmed, caps thinly sliced

• 3 to 4 tablespoons rice vinegar

• 2 tablespoons cornstarch

• 1 large egg, lightly beaten

• 1/2 package (7 ounces) soft or firm tofu, cut into 1/4-inch cubes, drained

• 2 tablespoons finely grated fresh ginger

• 3 scallions, thinly sliced

• In a large (5-quart) pot, combine broth, soy sauce, crushed red pepper, and 2 cups water. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Add mushrooms; reduce heat, and simmer until tender, about 10 minutes.

• In a small bowl, whisk together 3 tablespoons vinegar and cornstarch. Add to pot; simmer, stirring, until soup is thickened, about 1 minute.

• Add egg through a slotted spoon, and stir to form ribbons. Stir in tofu. Remove from heat; let stand, covered, 1 minute. Put ginger in a small sieve, and squeeze to release juice into soup (discard solids). Taste; add remaining tablespoon vinegar, if desired. Serve sprinkled with scallions.

Time to Make the Doughnuts

Amid my Christmas prep frenzy, I found the time, focus and where-with-all to rock out some festive baked buttermilk mini doughnuts topped with chocolate glaze and holiday sprinkles. I did this for 4-year-olds.

Yeah. There's an element of crazy in my actions, but hopefully the kiddos dug the treat while hopped up on juice, candy canes and a visit from the Big Man from the North Pole himself during my son's pre-school holiday festivities.

I purchased the Wilton mini doughnut pans within the past year. A complete frivolous purchase, yes. But they are getting more use than my fondue pot, blowtorch or crepe pan. (Note to self: Must collect less kitchen gadgetry.)

This was my second go-around at making baked doughnuts, and I thought this time was a better turnout than when I did it in the spring. I used the doughnut recipe from a really fab Web site called www.justataste.com. But the glaze on that site used Nutella, which would kill me and violate all sorts of nut-free-zone policies at my son's school, so I went with the basic chocolate glaze on  www.wilton.com.

My first attempt at the doughnuts last spring involved nutmeg. Now, I got nothing against nutmeg, but I think that was the ingredient that didn't do it for me. This doughnut recipe is sans nutmeg. The buttermilk adds a really nice tang to the doughnuts. But, the ginormous bottle is taking up prime real estate in my refrigerator mocking me every time I open the door because it knows that I do not have any immediate plans to use the 3 1/2 cups that remain in the bottle. The Jersey Girl was SO going to rock out buttermilk cheddar biscuits tonight to go with our din dins, but alas, I did not. My rationale is that the Feast of the Seven Fishes AND Christmas brunch are mere days away, and really do we need to feel like total fat-asses this soon in the game?

As is usually the case with doughnuts - particularly the fried ones - these baked doughnuts taste best on the day they are made. I served mine a good 24 hours after making them because girlfriend was not waking up at 5 a.m. to make doughnuts for a bunch of 4-year-olds. I'm not a complete lunatic. They still totally rocked, but on the first night they had that je ne sais quoi that certain food has when served at just the perfect time: Biscuits straight out the oven, bacon right out of the pan, a frittata at an easy breezy warm room temp, gazpacho chilled to perfection coming at you directly from the coolness of a refrigerator. You catch me?

That said you could make these a day ahead and still leave a room full of judgmental judgies with your reputation intact. But I would advise you baking fiends to perhaps bring these to a holiday brunch or party just an hour or so after cooling. They are fab!

Baked Mini Buttermilk Doughnuts
From www.justataste.com

Makes 24

For the doughnuts:
Vegetable cooking spray
1 1/4 cups cake flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup buttermilk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 1/2 Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

To make the doughnuts:
Preheat the oven to 425°F and spray the mini-doughnut pan with cooking spray.

In a large bowl, sift together the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Whisk in the buttermilk, vanilla, eggs and melted butter just until combined.

Fill each pan cavity approximately 1/3 full (about 1/2 Tablespoon per cavity). Tap the pan on the counter to release any air bubbles and level out the batter.

Bake the doughnuts for 4 to 6 minutes, or until the tops of the doughnuts spring back when touched. Let the doughnuts cool in the pan for 5 minutes then transfer them to a cooling wrack to cool completely while you make the chocolate glaze.

Chocolate Glaze

• From www.wilton.com
• 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 2 tablespoons butter or margarine
• 2 tablespoons corn syrup
• 1-2 teaspoons hot water

In medium bowl, melt chocolate chips, butter, and corn syrup on 50% power for 1 minute, stirring frequently until completely melted. Stir in 1 teaspoon of hot water, stirring until the glaze is thick and smooth. Add another teaspoon if glaze is too thick. Use immediately to glaze doughnuts.

Confessions of a Pizzelle Guru

Forget gift shopping, house decorating, feeble attempts at wrapping boxes while stalking the front door on an hourly basis hoping that the UPS man or FedEx man or some man has arrived with all of the freaking items I ordered three weeks ago. And don't even get me started on that crazy-ass Elf on the Shelf/Big Brother who I forget to move EVERY NIGHT. And Christmas cards. I mean really, America. Are we just effing insane?!?

Truth: Baking and cooking are the only holiday chores that do not make my blood pressure rise. So it is with great joy that I have entered the week of creating cookie deliciousness.

Elvis on the stereo, leopard ho-ho-ho hat slightly askew, wine on the side and the kid tucked snug in his bed, visions of trains and Legos dancing in his head. Now, this. This the Jersey Girl can deal with.

So here goes with my pizzelles. If you don't know what a pizzelle is, you've obviously never rocked out Christmas in Jersey. It's a traditional Italian waffle cookie, or as my big boy Evan calls them, snowflake cookies.

According to legend, I mean my very opinionated family, the best pizzelles are thin as paper and are so delicate and crispy that you must handle them with the utmost level of care.

The original recipe can be found on a vanilla-stained, time-worn faded light blue index card that was always stowed away in my Mom's index-card recipe box on the top shelf of her corner kitchen cabinet. The one with the lazy-Susan, above the coffee pot.

As is the case in many of the gems you will find in the box, now located in Florida, the "recipe" is merely a list of ingredients in no particularly important order. But as we know, nothing can be left to chance when baking. It's all about instinct. Precision. A feeling.

Of course, I will share with you my process. But, I must warn you dear readers, your pizzelles won't ever match mine. Not because of my fine baking prowess or stellar kitchen skills. No, sir. You see, when my parents left our childhood home for sunnier skies down south, my Mom would sneak into my house many of her "treasures." Pink Santa Claus circa 1985, harvest gold Tupperware circa 1972 and a pizzelle iron circa older than dirt. It is magical. Truly. I am completely convinced that the only reason my pizzelles are anything to write home about is because they are made on the gadget that I have treasured for my entire life.

Pizzelles
6 extra large eggs at room temperature
3 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 lb. margarine melted and cooled (2 sticks)
4 tsp. baking powder
2 Tbsp. vanilla extract or anise

Preheat pizzelle iron.

In a large bowl, sift together flour and baking powder.

In a large mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat sugar and melted margarine until smooth. One at a time, add eggs and continue beating on medium-low speed. Add vanilla or anise (I use vanilla). Add flour mixture a cup at a time while mixer is beating slowly. Stop occasionally to scrape sides. Continue until flour is all completely added.

When ready to bake, place one teaspoon on each side of pizzelle iron. Press down iron for about 60 seconds. Remove from iron with the help of a fork. Lie flat on paper towels to cool. Once cool, the pizzelles can be piled up to make space for more.

Get Your Healthy On, Kind Of

In my effort to be all whole-foody and health-nutty and whatnot, the Jersey Girl has set out on a mission to find some yum-yums for lunch that do not involve processed meats or tuna from a can.

I tried with the quinoa. Honest to goodness. But yeah, that mess was a miss for me.  I suppose I'm just not hip enough.

The texture, the after-taste, the fact that I was hungry two hours later. Quinoa. I'm so not into you.

But barley has been in my life for an eternity. Usually in soup formation. My Moms makes the best beef barley soup. But, let me present to you my fabulous barley salad. It rocks my world.

I encourage you to mix up your greens and veggies with whatever your heart desires. This just happens to be the veggie mix that I came up with on the day I shot the pic. Peppers and celery also work well. As does baby spinach instead of arugula. The basil in the dressing is one of my fave touches.

I suppose if I were really all psycho about health, I would provide you with a nutritional comparison of quinoa and barley, as well as precise measurements of all ingredients listed below. But, well, I'm not all that psycho about health. I mean, yes I exercise on occasion and I can knockout some crunches and fitness programs in my newly finished basement (yay!), but truth be told, I am in no manner a health guru. I just know what I like to eat. And sometimes, I may want 2 cups of arugula in my salad and some days I may want 1 cup. That's just how I do.

And, I did look up the nutritional content of both barley and quinoa, but I fell asleep with my eyes open. I tried again, and got caught up on something on Pinterest. I tried yet again, and I realized my wine glass was empty. The bottom line is, they're both pretty good for you and their stats are quite similar. The end.

Barley Salad
1 serving

Dressing
1 Tbsp. red wine vinegar
2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
salt and pepper to taste
4 basil leaves, chopped
In a small bowl, whisk together all of the ingredients. Set aside.

The salad
1/2 cup barley, cooked (For instructions, see below)
1 cup of arugula
Grape tomatoes, halved
Cucumbers, chopped
Radishes, chopped
Carrot, chopped
Feta cheese, crumbled

First things first: How to cook barley.

1/2 cup barley
2 cups water
Salt if desired (I do not add salt)

In a small colander, rinse off the barley.

Place water and barley in a small pot Add salt if desired. Bring to a boil. Simmer for 40 to 45 minutes. Barley should be tender.

Drain in a colander and run under cold water.

1/2 cup uncooked barley yields 2 cups cooked barley. You can store the remaining barley in a container in the refrigator for use later.

To prepare the salad:
On a plate, place arugula and the rest of your desired vegetables. Top with a scoop of barley (1/2 cup to 3/4 cup cooked). Add dressing and toss. Top with cheese, and enjoy!

I'm So Fancy

There's somethin' somethin' about a gratin that seems so posh.

So, I just MUST whip up some Bay Scallop Gratins courtesy of the Barefoot Contessa the next time I have a get together. I'm sure they will be a super big hit with my usual crowd of 3-year-olds.

In this go-around, I made them for little ole' moi and The Husband along with the kiddo. My adventurous 3-year-old actually did eat two whole bites of scallop. But he was enticed by the promise of  a Hershey's Kiss for his new-food-trying efforts.

I followed this recipe almost to the T. I did not have Pernod, and then I looked up what it is: a licorice-flavored liquor. Ummm. That flavor mixed with scallop flavor in my mind brought on a huge wave of the gags. So, I just substituted the Pernod for another tablespoon of white wine, which is already called for in the recipe. Sorry, Barefoot Contessa. Since we're keeping it real, dear readers, I whipped up these scallops last week while in the midst of a major asthma episode. And my deluxe cocktail of inhalers, steroids and meds kind of killed my appetite. And brought on some major nausea and shakes and delirium. Good times! But that is why I opted for the more basic-tasting wine, if you know what I mean.

When I make these again just for The Husband and me, I will just whip them up in one large gratin rather than the cute individual gratins because Clumsiness is my middle name, and removing small hot gratins from a hot baking sheet to plates on the table is waaaaaaaaaaaay easier said then done. When I do get it together for an adult din din partay, I will rock out the smaller ones, for sure.

I served these for a light dinner. The Husband hadn't been feeling so hot either, so he wasn't a huge eater on this lovely day. He always says scallops leave him wanting more food. So, I recommend this dish as an appie. The Barefoot Contessa says to rock out some fab bread on the side. I served rice and a salad.

Bay Scallop Gratins
Makes 3 gratins
From "Barefoot Contessa: Back to Basics"
By Ina Garten

3 Tbsp. unsalted butter, at room temperature
3 large garlic cloves, minced
1 medium shallot, minced
1 ounce thinly sliced prosciutto di Parma, minced
2 Tbsp. minced fresh parsley, plus extra for garnish
1 Tbsp. freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 Tbsp. Pernod
1 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
3 Tbsp. good olive oil
1/4 cup panko (Japanese dried bread flakes)
3 Tbsp. dry white wine
1 pound fresh bay scallops
Lemon, for garnish

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit. Place 3 (6-inch round) gratin dishes on a sheet pan.

To make the topping, place the butter in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment (you can also use a hand mixer). With the mixer on low speed, add the garlic, shallot, prosciutto, parsley, lemon juice, Pernod, salt and pepper and mix until combined. With the mixer on low, add the olive oil slowly as though making mayonnaise, until combined. Fold the panko in with a rubber spatula and set aside.

Preheat the broiler, if it's separate from your oven.

Place 1 Tbsp. of the wine in the bottom of each gratin dish. With a small sharp knife, remove the white muscle and membrane from the side of each scallop and discard. Pat the scallops dry with paper towels and distribute them among the 3 dishes. Spoon the garlic butter evenly over the top of the scallops. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, until the topping is golden and sizzling and the scallops are barely done.  If you want the top crustier, place the dishes under the broiler for 2 minutes, until browned. Finish with a squeeze of fresh lemon juice and a sprinkling of chopped parsley and serve immediately with crusty French bread.

Please note: The Jersey Girl used 1 Tbsp. white wine instead of Pernod.

It's All Greek to Me

So if you're a Greek food purist/snob you may want to click elsewhere. For all others: Welcome to my riveting post re: Gyros Gone Jersey Girl Wild.

Straight away, I will warn you: My tzatziki sauce is missing cucumbers. This is no fault of my own but rather a deliberate decision in making sure that The Husband eats the tzatziki sauce. You may remember from previous posts (since I know all 10 of you have been following my blogging career for YEARS), The Husband has a thing "with," or I should say "against" cucumbers. And mayo. And shopping. And mushrooms. Don't even get me started with the mushrooms.

So I lovingly placed the cucumbers on the side so that me and the kiddo would would get some of that fresh crunchiness action up on our gyro creations while making The Husband happy.

See that. I'm all about the compromise.

In addition, I'm 99 percent sure that in real life I mispronounce all of, well the two Greek words that we are using today: gyro and tzatziki (which, if we're being honest here, tzatziki is also a bitch to spell. And it just made me break my swear word policy on my blog. Sorry, Jesus.)

Aaaaand finally, my son, bless his 3-year-old hungry hungry belly, lovingly referred to our perfectly warm pitas filled with delicious lemony marinated shaved pork, cool tzatziki sauce, salty feta and fresh veggies, veggies and more veggies as "tacos." Ie, "Mommy, can I please have more tacos?" and "These tacos taste yummy" and "I love tacos."

Naturally, I went with his whole narrative.

"Sure, Baby Doll. Tacos IT IS!"

This was really easy breezy to make. And it does get a ton of veggies down the gullets of your family. And, honestly. Who doesn't love a taco, I mean gyro?

Below is the recipe for my sauce. And then, I'm listing the recipe for the Old Neighborhood Shaved Pork Gyro recipe that I found on Pinterest.  It is on the Old Neighborhood Web site as well. In an uncanny stroke of luck, my ghetto Shop Rite actually carries the Old Neighborood Shaved Meat products. Yay!

Feel free to serve these bad boys with all sorts of veggies and toppings. We did red peppers, cucumbers, plum tomatoes, romaine and feta. You could totally do hummus, olives, peppers of varying colors, scallions, fresh herbs, etc. Woo-hoo!

I didn't serve these in a traditional gyro roll-up style. I kinda just cut the pitas in half and stuffed them. Top Chef plating, it is not.

Gyro toppings: Tzatziki sauce, cucumbers, red bell peppers, red onions.

And more toppings: plum tomatoes, feta cheese, romaine.

Beneath that rainbow of veggie amazingness is some tasty shaved pork. Honest.

Here's my little man loving a ride on the Boardwalk in Ocean City. 
That smile is gold!

Tzatziki Sorta Sauce
10 ounces Greek yogurt
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
1 garlic clove, minced
Parsley, chopped
2 scallion greens, minced
1 Tbsp. white wine vinegar
Salt and pepper to taste

Combine all the ingredients in a bowl, and gently stir together with a spoon until well blended. Refrigerate if made well ahead.

Shaved Pork Gyros from Old Neighborhood Shaved Pork
By Susan Chan

1 1-lb. package of Old Neighborhood Shaved Pork
1 tbsp. oregano
1 tbsp. cumin
3 tbsp. lemon juice
1 garlic clove, minced
salt and pepper to taste
tzatziki sauce (see ingredients & recipe below)
pita bread
olive oil
1 red onion, sliced
1 tomato, cut into strips
Lettuce leaves
Crumbled feta

Marinate the Shaved Pork with 1 tbsp. oregano, 1 tbsp. cumin, 3 tbsp. lemon juice, minced garlic clove, salt, and pepper for at least 30 minutes. I left the amount of salt and pepper to your discretion, but if you need a point of reference, I used 1 tsp. salt with 2 tsp. black pepper.

If you are making the tzatziki sauce yourself, mix all of the tzatziki ingredients together, and set it aside in the fridge.

Heat a pan over medium heat. Add 2 tsp. of olive oil. Add the shaved pork.

Cook the pork for about 4-5 minutes, or until the meat is thoroughly cooked.

In a separate pan, heat ½ tsp. of olive oil. Lightly toast one pita bread.

Remove the pita from the pan, and place it on a dish.

Remove the tzatziki sauce from the fridge.

Place one lettuce leaf in the center of the pita.

Add tomato strips, onion slices, and cooked shaved pork.  The amount added is dependent on how full you would like each gyro.

Top with feta cheese and some tzatziki sauce. For the tzatziki sauce that appeared with this recipe on the Old Neighborhood Foods Web site, click here.)

Fold the sides of the pita towards the center.

(optional) Wrap with foil or parchment paper to hold the gyro in place.

Repeat steps for each gyro.

Serve and enjoy!